During Fasting Week in January, God highlighted something that had crept its way into my attitude that needed to be addressed. I had started to feel impatience and professional jealousy, which was new to me. I’ve always been content to work hard at what God has put in front of me and focus on working hard to move forward from A to B and not be impatient about X, Y or Z.
God showed me a picture of me in a boyband. We were dancing on stage all in sync (N*Sync? Sorry, not sorry). In the picture, I was in the second row, the spotlight wasn’t on me and I was salty about it. I knew then that God was drawing me into a character test season to address the jealousy that was rooted in pride.
Professional jealousy isn’t something I’ve struggled with before. I wasn’t exactly sure how to deal with it. But I chose to bless the good things that were making me jealous – I prayed for success in the opportunities that others had that I wished I had I asked God to help me to be positive about them and positive about where I was.
In May, Jamie, Brian, Kellie and I went down to the Alpha Leadership Conference in London. Jamie and I were really excited for it since one of our former colleagues and good friend from Portland was one of the main stage speakers It felt like the exact sort of thing that would have triggered me in January – and big time to be fair.
When I was reflecting on this experience, I felt like seeing my friend being given this big opportunity – one that I most, most, most likely will never get – should have felt like a final boss battle. But it didn’t feel like a battle, I was excited. It felt like I was passing the test and this was a clear sign of progress.
I’m grateful that God has been doing work on my character, and doing it gently. He put my eyes back on what He has entrusted me with and been teaching me how to look forward hopefully and positively.
Crooksy
Re:Hope Southside
Are you aware of any ways God is working on your character in this season? Take some time to reflect and ask the Holy Spirit to guide how He wants you to pray in response.
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