I became a Christian last autumn. God swept me into his arms when I was at rock bottom, after 15 years of depression, addiction and suicidality. My life has changed immeasurably since. He has answered countless prayers:
He gave me courage to apply for a Master's, and funding when I was accepted. This brought me and my husband to Glasgow, where I was given somewhere free to stay and shown huge hospitality whilst flathunting. We then got our flat without having jobs up here. I've also been blessed with deeper connections and community after years of loneliness.
Most astoundingly to me, this year I have been saved from alcohol addiction, which had taken over my life. I had a difficult childhood, and by the time I was a teenager I was on a path of drug and alcohol abuse, which led to a crippling dependency. Before I knew God’s love, I genuinely could not imagine how I could survive without alcohol. It felt like my only true friend for a very long time, and it was killing me. When I gave my life to Jesus last year, I began to pray for sobriety. I had tried to stop drinking countless times before this point, and nothing worked.
Towards the end of my addiction, I wrote in my journal: “how many times will I go around in the same circles, sinking?” I felt hopelessly trapped and had given up believing life could get better. What has happened since is a miracle. God spoke to me at the right time, when I was ready to listen, and through knowing his tender love, prayer, time, support, and a 12-step programme, I am sober. Most days I can't believe it. It's been hard, but for the first time, I trust that I have a future. I am an alcoholic, but my everlasting identity is a daughter of God. If anyone reading this is struggling with addiction: there is help and, in God, hope. Keep going, it will be okay.
Psalm 23 has carried me this year:
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
Boldly ask God to do something that feels impossible today!