From the end of March through to June last year, I didn’t feel like myself. I felt lower than usual, my sleep was bad, and I felt pretty exhausted all the time. I wondered what was wrong, and was considering going to see the doctor. I thought I must be anemic or deficient in something, and it was worth a try.
Over time though, I felt increasingly sure that I was being spiritually harassed. Old insecurities and lies were bombarding me in my mind. It felt harder than usual to resist the temptation to believe the things that were swirling, even though I could recognise what was going on. There was definitely an inner struggle, and I was seeking God — but I felt unable to shift things myself. I felt like I was in a bit of a fog. I prayed that God would reveal what was going on and send help. I knew greater joy and freedom was available than what I was living in.
Hilariously (and wonderfully), when I was in a Sh Bam exercise class I felt like the Lord revealed what had happened. While I was distracted and focused on something else, He answered my prayer and brought a moment of clarity. He reminded me of a particular week in March, and highlighted a day when - in a difficult moment - I had taken to heart some old lies; things I used to believe about myself. I felt God saying (with no condemnation) I’d lost the war in my mind on that day in a way that had spiritual impact, and it was affecting me in every way. I left the gym feeling like God had given me a key to breakthrough.
I asked a friend to pray with me about this. We had a quiet, and fairly quick time of prayer. It was all very undramatic. It didn’t feel like anything had really happened. But I went to bed that night and slept soundly for the first night in weeks and weeks — and woke up feeling lighter, more at peace — sure that Jesus had given me the freedom I’d been asking for.
Remembering this makes me thankful once again that Jesus can bring clarity when things feel foggy and confusing. I’m thankful that He is not limited in how or when He can speak to us… as if I needed another reason to love Sh Bam. I’m thankful that He’s set things up for us to do this with friends. And I’m thankful that His name really is powerful enough to bring light, and peace, and breakthrough.
Re:Hope West End
Is there any area of life you feel like you could experience greater freedom in? Ask the Holy Spirit to highlight anything you’re not seeing, and ask a pal to pray with you/for you, today.